it's been sixteen years of up and down
of best friends buried in the ground.
we spent a few good summers here
under the sun in the mountain air,
a few good summers full of laughter
and young lives ending even faster.
all the souls we thought were free
have ended in catastrophe.
but in the end the tragedy
is not who died but who survived.
those who live die every day
living for those who've gone away.
we saw the ends of others and
it wiped our names out of the sand.
some wear scars and some wear smiles
some went cold after a while.
we've grown up and dreams have died
turned to smoke in the midnight sky.
you were a fantasy, another world
that no one else could know.
you were all those were dreams and longings
that I held so close at home.
you were something free, a force of life,
and I'd never let you go.
you were love and youth and freedom,
and light that bursts through snow.
what we had seemed so unstoppable,
like we'd never be undone.
but now you're buried far away;
all that's left is carved in stone.
you were my home where I was safe,
and I could always trust in you.
you were the end to every day
but your resentment grew and grew.
I crossed a line some time ago,
just to love a girl like her.
I didn't then, but now I know
that being me is not okay.
the promises you made to me,
of acceptance, love, and care,
were broken and my misery
was now your one intent.
I never meant to hurt her,
that's the last thing I would do,
but I may as well be a murderer,
for I'm less than that to you.
take me back to the time
buried by so many years
when laughter grew on trees
and the sun hid all our fears.
peel back the layers
of the scars so thickly made
through red to pink to white and on
to skin untouched by hate.
dig our friends up from the ground
from all the way back then
to live and breathe the long dead air
to walk the earth again.
undo each night we spent alone
on pills and left to rot
give me joy that's long been gone,
the light that time forgot
hold onto me
in life and death.
let go of me
and catch your breath.
we're living like
we'll live again,
and death is just
the end of pain.
but I can't tell
a lie to you;
I sometimes want
to end it too.
so many have gone
the easy way,
and we forgot
what we used to say.
we miss the dead
and hold on tight,
but they have gone
to an endless night.
I hate to sit
and watch you burn,
but nothing else
will help us learn,
there's nothing I
can do this time
but listen to
your helpless cries.
and when we die
you follow me;
we'll meet the night
and cease to be.